Divorce is such a complicated case, not only for parents involved but most especially for their children.
Most couples who find their relationship not working anymore, see divorce as a solution, while often not thinking about their kids who also have to go through the process. So, instead of the kids enjoying their childhood they get entangled with their parents' issues.
In today’s episode, Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles will shed some light on a new wave of looking at divorce. They tell you how to stay out of the legal system as much as you can, the tools to figure it out, and how to make the impossible possible in co-parenting.
If you want to learn how to get that other parent out of your head, tune in now.
Diane is CNFC’s Executive Director, and she is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Family Life Educator, and registered domestic mediator. She has been the director of CNFC for 20 years and continues as a therapist in private practice from her home in St. Simons Island, Georgia. Diane has a Master's degree from Georgia State University and is the author of the books “The Co-Parent Tool Box” (2014) and “Solo Parenting: Raising Strong & Happy Families” (1997).
Richard Voyles, Ph.D. is CEO of the Center for Dispute Solutions, as well as a certified business coach, an anger management specialist, and a professional mediator. Rick travels internationally, training and developing federal mediators in their agency ADR programs. He is a published author, business coach, and entrepreneur. He has developed online Mediation Training including over 17 video presentations. He has also produced a TV program, “Conflict, Mediation and You” where he discusses topics in conflict management, as well as mediation techniques. Mr. Voyles is a subject matter expert in the areas of Divorce, Co-parenting, Negotiation, Cross-cultural Communication, and Conflict Resolution.
[03:15] Diane shares her credentials.
[06:47] Rick introduces his credentials and, like Diane, he’s been through a divorce.
[09:26] The purpose of a process in parenting coordination is to give people another option besides going to court.
[11:15] The strategy is to minimize conflict, and if that’s not successful, their last resort is to write a report to the court and let the court decide.
[18:35] Diane shares the hardest thing she says to a parent.
[21:21] Rick is always biased on the kids' side.
[22:02] You have to practice putting on another lens and keep refocusing back on your kids.
[22:46] Rick shares a big conflict case he had with some parents during COVID.
[24:18] Diane also shared an interesting story about her client whose child had ADHD.
[25:54] Rick and Diane often teach people that one of the parents has to think of the children, even in a crisis situation.
[29:27] Their favorite podcast episode is when they invited a judge and talk about a very toxic situation. (Narcissists and the Court: A conversation with Judge Warren Davis)
[31:49] The second most important episode that people find valuable is about narcissistic parents. (Narcissists in the Courtroom Revisited)
[35:36] Every time you defend yourself, you question yourself again and again, which is not good for the soul.
[38:19] Wendy shares an interview that changed her perspective. (A Life Of Abuse And Therapy Blessed Martha With Incredible Gifts)
[40:24] You are modeling behaviors for your children that will last a lifetime and could mean the difference between their success and failure, personally or professionally.
[41:08] Diane elaborates on narcissistic parents.
[49:11] Diane and Rick created a journal that has a method to organize the steps on how to get that other parent out of your head. (To find information on how to purchase the I am Non-Impossible Journal visit their website https://www.cpdilemmas.com/)
[52:40] Rick monitored a particular case where, in the beginning, the parents didn’t like each other anymore. Now they have learned to be respectful and professional. Connect with the
Divorce can happen to anyone. And that includes couples in their second half of life, also known as Gray Divorce. I suggest you listen to this episode to know more about Gray Divorce: Getting Divorced Now? Gray Divorce Is A Thing. How You Can Do This Well with Lisa Decker
To listen to the Co-Parent Dilemmas podcast, go to https://www.cpdilemmas.com/. Click on the latest episode's show notes and find information on how to purchase the I am Non-Impossible Journal and how to register for the Communication Protocol Workshop on October 10th. Also, stay tuned for their Dream Team Case Study beginning October 31st. They'll present the "custody case from hell on Halloween day," and have a different professional (judge, GAL, attorney, and therapist) each week in November to help Diane & Rick break down the case from their unique perspectives.
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