Jan. 26, 2022

But This Is The Conversation We All Need To Have!

But This Is The Conversation We All Need To Have!

Death is a difficult conversation that many of us avoid, but this is actually the conversation we all need to have…

Jamie Sarche is the director of pre-planning at Feldman Mortuary. Her calling is helping people be less afraid of death. Jamie helps people pre-plan their death to give them peace of mind and give them the chance to take care of their families even after they’re gone.

In this episode, Jamie shares with us how death is a part of our being. It should not be avoided, instead we need to embrace it, understand it, and pre-plan for it. Jamie believes that by facing mortality, people can live better and more meaningful lives.

In this episode:

[03:19] Jamie wanted to have a career on TV, but instead an opportunity came as a pre-planning director for Feldman Mortuary, and she knew it was for her.

[06:50] Death was not a hard topic for her. She has always been good about hard topics or conversations.

[09:57] Jamie talks about her childhood. She developed empathy at a young age.

[11:12] Her parents' volatile relationship made Jamie felt insecure all the time.

[14:11] In college, she also had challenges socially, but working in radio and newspaper was something she enjoyed.

[15:40] Gloria Steinem’s books made an impact on Jamie when she was 16, but she only realized that when she met and hosted her in 2008. 

[17:43] Having honest and open conversations with your kids creates a deep connection.

[21:36] Before she became a pre-planning director, she worked as an aide to a state house legislator which also allowed her to help people.

[24:20] Years before she became a pre-planning director, the funeral director in her husband's grandmother’s funeral left a mark on her, which even made Jamie want to work in that field. 

[27:04] Jamie’s husband has always been her supporter. 

[27:51] Jamie and her husband were a product of arranged marriage. And their marriage was a gift to them, it brought Jamie the security she never had as a child with her parents.

[32:13] Pre-planning for your death should be taken long before it’s needed.

[36:02] Pre-planning involves having that peace of mind for you and your family that everything is taken care of. It saves you thousands of dollars, and saves the people who love you the emotional pain.

[37:51] When decisions are not made ahead of time, the family of the bereaved might end up making the wrong decisions for their loved ones.

[38:22] Fire cremation is the cheapest way but also not good for the environment.

[40:05] Death should be an open conversation and not to be avoided.

[45:03] For some, they have a superstitious belief that when you plan for your death, it makes it happen.

[45:44] Do not be afraid to ask questions, even when it seems they sound weird or invalid.

[49:23] What keeps Jamie positive in doing her job.

[51:02] In death, the most important thing is authenticity and vulnerability. There is strength in vulnerability even in death and grief.

[52:18] Pre-planning allows the dying to take care of their family even after they’re gone.

About Jamie Sarche

Jamie Sarche is the director of preplanning at Feldman Mortuary. Her calling is helping people be less afraid of death. Jamie helps by arranging for them to provide their loved ones with a planned and funded funeral or memorial service, together we create a path for bereavement, long before it's needed. And by facing their mortality, my clients can live better, more meaningful lives.

She is also a seasoned speaker. She brings deep experience in death care to a broad range of audiences around the country, sharing insights and approaches on how to have those difficult conversations and how to address sensitive issues.

Connect with Jamie

On LinkedIn

On her email

On Feldman Mortuary Website

My Second Wind Facebook Group